Miss Devious
by msceila7
Summary: When Draco Malfoy is territorial about a slide in the Great Playground, everyone will be laughing at him, thanks to Miss Devious. Join Hermione on her amazing journies. AU
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K Rowling, but I own this Devious!Hermione plot, with the Great Playground and all.

The entire student body of Hogwarts milled around the Great Playground (created by Dumbledore as a playground for younger students, it was considered one of the Seven Modern Wonders of the Wizarding World). Draco and his Slytherin cronies hovered near the biggest, steepest slide, policing it and making sure nobody who wasn't Slytherin got to use it. It was Draco Malfoy's seventh year, and HE wasn't going to let anybody get in his way, no.

"Oh, lookit. Widdle Dracy-poo is hogging the big slide," said Ron in disgust.

"It's horrific," agreed Harry. "He's in his seventh year. By now, we don't do playgrounds." Hermione got a devious look on her face and inside, Harry was cowering, hoping that those brains weren't focused on humiliating him. Hermione began to work, grabbing a clover and transfiguring it into a discreet headband with rhinestone cameras that transmitted wirelessly to a viewing screen. Without a screen, the headband was useless, so Hermione made a wristwatch viewing screen, which she passed off to one astonished Ron Weasley.

"Hermy, what's with all these secretive gadgets?" asked the said red-head, perplexed.

"I was inspired," she said in a taut voice that meant 'Don't ask'.

With that, Hermione stalked off towards the big steep slide. "Yo Malfoy," she yelled with personality. "Can I ride the slide?"

"No, it's mine. ALL mine. Nothing your Mudblood brain could think of could part me from this slide. I LOVE THIS SLIDE! WE ARE MEANT TO BE!" Malfoy hollered in response. He clammed up just then, realizing all eyes in the Great Playground were on him. Hermione walked back to the Golden Trio's picnic blanket, smirking her Most Evil Smirk which Parvati had once caught her practicing in the mirror. It instilled such a feeling of dread in Malfoy he nearly wet himself.

Meanwhile, Harry and Ron were sitting bewildered next to Hermione, who had yet to explain her brilliant plan. They watched as a grass blade became a USB cable, which then snapped into Hermione's laptop, and the watch. As the computer screen announced a certain being downloaded, Harry began to fathom Hermione's plan.

"Easy," she smirked. "I captured embarrassing footage of a possessive Draco Malfoy and will probably post it on HootTube and Youtube. Ya know, to humiliate Most Despised Malfoy for life."

(A/N: HootTube is the wizarding YouTube. Because they, like, use owls. )

"Hermione," said Harry in awe. "Sometimes you have something Slytherin about you." Angered, Hermione gave him a right hook to the jaw.

"Oops," she said. "Sorry Harry."

Harry wasn't angry in the least. He held his hurt jaw and asked, "Hermione, where'd ya learn to punch like that?"

She blurted out, "From a little alone time with a punching bag I pretended was Draco Malfoy."

Parvati, who was walking by, paused. "Dang, girl. You have some pent-up hatred!"

The Golden Trio smiled in sync, and got down to actually eating (I.e nibbling at their sandwiches (Harry and Hermione) and stuffing their faces with food (Ron).)

The bell rang soon after, and Hermione deviously called out to Malfoy, "Better get off that slide."

Ooh, she'd got him good. Trapped him in his own words. Several fellow Gryfs whooped in delight.

Nobody was forgetting the slide incident anytime soon, then. Smiling, Hermione zoomed out of the Great Playground, via an uber-twisty slide. She smirked as she caught Malfoy's eye.

Draco P.O.V

She smirked as she caught my eye. Dang it! I had been outclassed, horribly. She had humiliated and thoroughly embarrassed me, in style. She was beautiful and cunning and- Snap out of it, Draco! She's a Mudblood.

*Later*

I sit at my desk in potions next to Crabbe, having finally gotten down from that slide. My conscience had rebelled, but my house would have been mad and I'dv lost a lot of points if I stayed at the Playground. As I chop root of asphodel into perfect 2 centimeter pieces, I can only think about the one who had put me in that situation, with her rosy cheeks and long gingery locks and- OWWW! I cut my finger with my knife. Housemaster Snape sent me to the infirmary straightaway. What was that filthy Muggleborn doing to me?

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! My chapters will be a little short, but please R&R, especially remember to review if you want me to update faster! Dramione? We'll see... :) msceila7


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

See disclaimer for chapter 1. It applies to all chapters. Here you go, chapter 2!

Hermione sank down on her bed and drew the curtains closed, exhausted. She was very proud of her scheme against Draco. He would be even more utterly humiliated tomorrow when a copy of the video 'accidentally' got sent to the editors of the Daily Prophet, Quibbler, and HootTube. Sometimes, she wondered why she hated Draco so. She supposed it was because he was so mean to Harry.

Ever since she had run into Harry on the train, she had been in love. She always had wondered if he returned her affections. But while Hermione was strong-willed, she wasn't brazen enough to actually ASK Harry. She could picture the conversation. "Hey, Harry, do you like me?" Replied to with a "WHAT THE...?"

Hermione had finally perfected a charm, though, that would analyze a person and tell you the name(s) and show you the face(s) of who they might be crushing on. She was so tired from all-night problem solving sprees, but eventually Hermione had prevailed and now she could finally see if her spell worked. A nasty thought crossed her mind though. Hermione was up for a little more anti-Draco action. "Locato Lucre Draco Malfoy," Hermione whispered, flicking her wand up twice and then drawing a circle counterclockwise on the air. A voice suddenly echoed through her skull.

"Say rain to activate the crush feed. Otherwise, think 'Go away' and the feed will be disrupted."

Hermione was very proud of this feature- it was interactive and played on the rhyme 'Rain, Rain Go Away'. Cautiously, she spoke, "Rain". In her mind she was suddenly plopped down into a plush seat in an Imax theatre. On the screen appeared, dramatically and in black and white, the title, "The Many Loves of Draco Malfoy". Hermione grew nervous as the screen faded out, even though all features were working perfectly. As it faded back in, she saw HER name and picture. She screamed, effectively disabling the charm for the moment. The entire house of Gryffindor woke up, grumbling. Parvati and Lavender turned to her expectantly.

"Well?" they asked in unison. Hermione shakily drew a breath, tremors rocking through her body at the horrific sight she had just seen.

"I had a dream where DRACO MALFOY had a crush on me. It was probably affected by an old whom-likes-whom spell I found in a book," Hermione explained, carefully lying about the most important parts. She was confident Lavender would tell everyone Hermione had a bad nightmare, in exchange for some Potions tutoring. Hermione gave Lav and Parvati the look. They knew it well. They knew to keep shut, keep her secret a secret. I mean, roommate's honor, right? Or at least that's what Hermione had installed into the two malleable girls. As the girls exited their dorm, Hermione caught Harry staring at her strangely. That reminded her. She hadn't checked out Harry's crush list!

Sighing, she walked back into her dorm once the scream had been explained and opened up her laptop. She was glad she took Ancient Runes instead of Divination. One, because Trelawney was a jerk, and two- magical hacking was so much easier when you could decipher the code you had to hack. By 6:00 am, her target audiences had received but Hermione wasn't done. As an afterthought, she sent it to YouTube and the entire Hogwarts student body, including Malfoy himself. This was no mean feat as she had started only at 5:15 am.

Happily, Hermione drifted off for two more hours of sleep. She woke up restless and realized she'd forgotten to find out who Harry liked. Grrr! Was fate trying to protect her or something?

A/N: I know it's wicked short, but I think that my story will be a bunch of short chapters. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Thank you :) msceila7


	3. Chapter 3

Everyone headed to the Great Playground, the odd pureblood heading to the Great Hall to dine. Draco and his henchmen resumed their positions at the slide.

Draco P.O.V

I sat down near the slide with my breakfast sandwich. I could hear people chuckling, but they stopped when I walked by. Odd. I saw one girl showing a friend something on her iPhone ( A/N: In my Hogwarts, devices like phones and laptops work.). I was feeling a little out of the loop, which was very uncommon for me. I weighed my options, sitting there on top of the slide. To wait for someone audacious to show me the video, or not? Wait, how would there be a video or picture to show.

I thought back to the other day, and Hermione's adorable headband that looked perfect on her perfect head. That must be it. Draco groaned at the level of deviousity. That girl was on another level.

Normal P.O.V

As Draco put his head in his hands, he sighed. Then he remembered he was holding a egg, bacon, and tomato breakfast sandwich. He raised his head up to get his head out of the mess to have a sticky, red, greasy patch in his fair. Hermione quickly snapped a picture with her phone. The action went unnoticed over the uproarious laughter that ricocheted through the playground like a whole magazine of bullets.

Humiliated, Draco rose, mustering all this dignity he could. He saw Granger, lovely Granger, with her phone out and knew that she must be the culprit of the video spreading. Stalking off to the Great Hall, he felt all eyes on him.

Harry and Ron snickered. "Oh, you got him good. Yay Herms!" they chorused. Hermione smiled weakly, mind preoccupied.

Who did Harry like? She HAD to know. It was driving her crazy. So, climbing up from her seat at the picnic blanket, Hermione said, "I'm going to the bathroom." The boys nodded understandingly. Hermione walked out of the Great Playground and onto the girls bathroom. She tiptoed across the white-turned-grey tile floor, dreading any noises she made to give herself away. Darting into a stall, it was locked with an anti-Alohamora spell and silenced.

Feeling satisfied with her prep-work, Hermione whispered, "Rain."

She was whisked into the same plush movie theatre, but this time the screen just read, "Harry Potter's List" in simplistic letters on a modest emerald green background. Hermione gulped, knowing now was the moment of truth.

Even as she thought this, the screen went black. But when the crush came up, everything was distorted and scrambled. Hermione panicked, and then realized it must be Harry's strong Occlummens barriers.

"Who are you?" asked Harry mentally.

"A friend," responded Hermione vaguely. "Not Voldemort. Or your head would hurt. I am a third-party subconscious for you to speak with occassionally."

"Well, why are you here?" Harry asked, still a little puzzled.

"To truly be able to converse with you, I need to know your interest. Let's start with who you like, romantically." Ever-consciencious Hermione was careful not to say girls, just in case.

"Well," Harry started. The screen came to life, unscrambled.

"I'm getting a read," Hermione informed him. She watched upon the screen as Cho Chang, Ginny Weasley, and Luna Lovegood all flashed up. Hermione held her breath as one last name flashed up.

A/N: Haha! I am evil! It's really short but I needed for there to be a cliffhanger. Please read and review. Should Harry like Hermione?

:) msceila7


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn't Hermione. It was... Hannah Abbott? Hermione felt like crying, but had to keep up her mentoring role. "Good," she said. "Now I must dash."

"Go away," she whispered.

Hermione ran out of the loo with tears running down her face. She was sure Harry would have a crush on her. Angry, Hermione devised a plan. One that would embarrass Harry beyond belief.

Harry came upon a crying Hermione in the common room. She was holding her Charms book.

"What's wrong? Hermione... let me help," he said, making the mistake of stepping close to her. He broke the near-invisible trip wire and was sent plummeting down twenty feet into a hole, onto a cushion. The roof closed and an electric light turned on. Harry fumbled around for his wand and realized Hermione must have picked his pocket af lunch. Gosh, that girl was devious. He wondered why she had done this.

Well, whatever her motive, he was trapped at the bottom of a deep hole with only a cushion and...

In the shadows of the circular room, there were three crates. They appeared to contain food, water, and books. BOOKS. Only Hermione would do that. Still, at least they were something to do. He pried open the crate and saw homework inside. He had an epiphany. This must be Hermione's plan to get him to study! Or not. But that seemed the most likely plan. So Harry curled up on the cushion, satisfied that Hermione would be there to take him out soon.

Up above, in the common room, Hermione grabbed her phone and called the Weasley twins.

"Thanks for telling me about that secret trapdoor in the common room! I got rid of newfound enemy," she cheerfully sang. Then, she hung up. She had two boys she despised now- Draco and Harry.

A/N: The End! I know, not happy, but please review anyways! :) msceila7


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